I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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