I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
