Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There was a lot of him and a little penis
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
