Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize