im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
