please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
