I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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