shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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