I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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