Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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