Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
