Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize