Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
