Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize