i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize