if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
