My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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