do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
