i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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