Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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