Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
