I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
