I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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