at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
