you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
