Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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