morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it glows. i had to have it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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