dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
