just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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