I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
