I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
