I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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