Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
