this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
