I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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