We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
They deliver.
Randomize
