i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Oh god it's open bar.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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