Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
