The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
