yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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