she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
