Those balls look pretty dangerous.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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