You made me cry and you don't even care
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
