OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
