I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize