Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
