You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
