the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
