guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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