I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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