How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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