this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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