I'm pants shitting drunk right now
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize