Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
