Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
