God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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