Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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