it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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