Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
