i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
