sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
